Twins in HOT ACTION

Woken up by a cat in heat. 
I bring you post (Read:short post)
Look at these stupid old ladies.

Don't worry it's not porn guys, it's 100% safe for work.

What are you doing? Don't leave!

It's not porn doesn't mean it's not good!

[Video: Not porn]
http://gigglesugar.com/710997

Seriously, don't try that on me. 
I'll break that God damn glass.

Alson goes to work

Yeah, first day of work and guess what? I'm late. All thanks to a Levi's-wearing, 24/7 on standby boyfriend ( I know what you're thinking, but no, i'm not gay or whatever. He's someone else boyfriend. )

We're supposed to report at 1330 and guess what? 1320 and that pile of rat excrement is still 5 train stops away from workplace when I'm sitting at the train station of my work place's stop. I could've gained revelation on where the workplace is from God Almighty if i had used the time wisely and to meditate on his words.

Seriously, do you think I'll waste my precious time waiting for him if I have any idea how to get my ass from here to there ?

NO!

I believe you people out there have an idea on how it feels like to be dragged down and turn up late for an appointment by a friend who was late and somehow or rather, you HAVE to wait for him and the option of "leaving him behind to face his own peril" is not available.

Yes people, that's how i feel just now. Glad you're happy because now you on the same level as me. And trust me, you should rejoice and open a bottle of champagne right now. ( I know what you're thinking Alicia, but DON'T write a comment on this post with any instances of "glass" and any relevance of "break" in it. Any other comments are welcomed. )

Yet, sad rule of nature, for everything that goes up, something must come down. So now, I'm stooped at your level. Yes, same level. God I feel retarded.

What's more retarded? Yeah there's more. First day at work, I got locked in the toilet. DAMN IT. I mean what the hell. What's worse?

It's the cute lady working beside me who told me I need to press a little flip switch to unlock the door.

Yes, I stressed cute.

No we're not in the same toilet. It's a room where toilets for both male and female are located. It's open air, maybe to ventilate the smell of excrements.

But hey, the feeling's like your basketball team is lacking 23-25 and you know a three pointer will get your team a win. Basic instinct, you bet on it. And KABOOM! your basketball explodes in your face. The losing part isn't so bad. But the worst part is. The cute cheerleader you've been eying since the start of the game have to help to clear up for you. Damn the feeling SUCKS.

Well well, this post is getting long, which i dislike. So now I'm going to leave you with a cool blog that uses babelfish to translate from Mandarin to English and simply copy-and-paste it onto the blog.

Someone translate to me what "to wait more mutually party" means? Heck, if you're able to do that. You don't deserve to be here. You should enroll yourself in the Cambridge University Case Study of the Arts of Gibberish. You just might graduate from there and find a great paying job at the translation centre as a Chief Translation Officer.

Poof! I'm back.

Alright alright! STOP BUGGING ME!

I know, how hard it is to live without updates of this blog. But come on, you guys can't be so selfish to make me put in 100% effort on this blog do you.

I have to cope with life, work, design and a "competitive" classmate who is always trying to keep up to everything I own/make/achieve/obtain whichever floats your boat.

And now he's successfully created a clone of my blog for you readers who have allergy to pure, proper grammars and also comes bundled with a bunch of spelling mistakes and wrong use of words. I bring you the rckrokato! God damn it, i don't even know how to pronounce it. What? Rock-rock-a-toe ? Or Rrek-row-car-tor? Whatever, I don't give a rat ass.

EDIT: Go google it or whatever if you want, it's not from me because the owner don't like me to review the link. So yeah too bad. Cry sad people. LET ME HEAR YOU CRY! Oh and guys, it's not the Wordpress one. Sorry to cause misunderstanding to the wordpress one, that guy's innocent.

Yeah, I know, some of you people out there treats your blogs as wives. If I'm you, then you ought to be slapping yourself silly. I have many wives.

You saw it, stop rubbing your eyes. I'll repeat myself, I HAVE MANY WIVES. (read: Except replace wives with blogs.) ( Don't open your eyes so big Cheryl, it's creepy. )

I was missing these few days as i have been busy lining my online portfolio with great works from my past projects. Some of you might complain that I'm too young to make my own portfolio, but hey, reality check.

Reality>> Alson is 100 times smarter, richer and more creative then you. Stop bugging him to update this blog and just make do with what you have. Moreover, he's the author/pen holder/your idol and not you.

Ouch! That's a hard one from reality. But never doubt this .... uhm .... it. It's really accurate. Works 100% of the time i tell you.

So yeah, now i have to operate 3 websites. Namely You Son Of A and The Lad's Blog as well as my own portfolio. You know how tiring it is? To manage so many sites at one go? Oh and don't forget that I am also a moderator of sigshare. Just great, now i have 4 websites to maintain, 2 games to play and a great, short-haired girlfriend to look after lest she feels that i "love her more yesterday then today".

No I'm not ranting, rantings are for emotional kids living beside you with Fall Out Boys posters on their bedroom, pencil box bloated with Penknives and penknife blades and they usually have a waste paper dustbin filled with tissue paper soaked with crimson red blood. No way am i one of them. I despise emotional people. I mean, you're not the only ones with problems damn it.

I think if we put in effort in packaging them and maybe throw in a complimentary set of penknife and 2 extra penknife blade re-fills. We might be able to sell them to the Iraq as war zone demoralizers.

Damn, if I think hard enough, I can still make out how emotional kids used to behave in the early 90s.

Emotional Kid>> Hey dude.
Emotional Kid>>I just found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me.
Dude>> Whoa, don't be sad.
Dude>> If she is indeed cheating on you, then she's a whore!
Emotional Kid>> Are you saying I'm dating a whore?
Dude>> No I'm not,
Dude>>I'm just saying that she's a whore
Dude>> Just implying.
Emotional Kid>> YOU SON OF A ....
Dude>> Chill pal, don't get so emotional about it.

There you go, definition of emotional in the 90s :
The state of being unable to withstand a feeling I.E. anger, stress, sadness....

But now? The definition of emotional have evolved into this :
The state of being unable to withstand the alluring blood-stained piece of sharp metal held together by two pieces of plastic creating friction between the sharpest point of the metal against the softest point of the human flesh slowly to reveal a "cut" or "break" in the flesh of which fresh warm blood will ooze out and the human host will achieve orgasm.

Yeah I know, I used the word orgasm. I mean, why would you people like to rub the metal against your skin if you don't reach orgasm by doing it? Common excuse are "they take away my attention on the things around me" and "i just want to feel the pain rather then having to think and cry about it all day".

Aww, pulls at your heart-string doesn't it ? Just die! I'd say. BLEED TO DEATH BASTARDS.

There, I got it out of my system.

Now you can either choose to :
1) Leave my blog
2) Murder the nearest emotional kid
3) Look at my portfolio ( link's to the right ) and hire me to do some designs for you and your company

I leave the options to you, I'm 100% democratic.

Now get the hell out of here.

Trip to Retarded Ether

First of all, I am NOT sorry for not posting yesterday. So stop bugging me on MSN and RF asking me why I did not post yesterday. I don't have to explain my social life to you retards.

Secondly, I should really write to RF telling them to block off Ether because it was abandonned and now overrunned by retards. Today morning as i was heading to Ether to get some items for quest. Damn it, i didn't see a single CallianaAtroc. I was SURPRISED. You could've seen the look on my face.

It spelt C-R-A-P.

I knew something was wrong. The voice at the back of my head tells me to turn back right now and settle for hunting the Chooties. But I didn't listen.

Do I ever listen? No...

I'm not some kind of prophet. And No, i'm not a psychic. Damn it.

So i went in. To my surprise, i found a group of Bells chatting there. Standing in a circle. Like a reunion or something and they were chatting.

I took out my Metal Gear Solid cape and crept beside them to eavesdrop.

LordChewy>> so my dad found my porn folder
LordChewy>> and he was getting all pissed
LordChewy>> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
LordChewy>> "i know dad"
LordChewy>> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
LordChewy>> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
LordChewy>> and he just shut up
kingKahn>> what is it?
LordChewy>> its his porn folder

Whoa .... Retards ...

My suspicion is confirmed after hearing the next conversation.

Th3No0b>> Im going to be the next hitler
Th3No0b>> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
RageAgainsttheAccretians> why the clown
Th3No0b>> See? no one cares about the jews
RageAgainsttheAccretians>> lmao
tag>> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
Ouroboros>> Ok.
tag>> | .
Ouroboros>> . |
tag>> | .
Ouroboros>> . |
tag>> | .
Ouroboros>> | .
Ouroboros>> Whoops

Worst of all...

Rabidplaybunny87>> Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23>> why?
Rabidplaybunny87>> Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87>> So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23>> oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87>> Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87>> Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87>> talk about bad timing...

Having heard this, i dropped my cape laughing. This is what happened after they caught me.

Rabidplaybunny87>> GOD DAMN IT, AN ACCRETIAN SPY! RageAgainstAccretians! DO YOUR JOB!!
RageAgainstAccretians>> OH YEAH, SUCK SPEAR YOU PIMP.

I see a fat bell jump at me.

*DODGE*

RageAgainstAccretians>>Wow, you're good. Take this.

RageAgainstAccretians casts Dragon Lance

*MISS*

RageAgainstAccretians>>You prick!

*Cast name change
*Name changed to Prick for 5 minutes

Prick casts poke

RageAgainstAccretians is dead and will revive in Bellatos in 10 seconds.

RageAgainstAccretians>> Oh i hate you!

THIS is the reason why Ether has to be blocked off. I'd better start drafting the letters to the head right now. Before more retards infest Ether.

Alson gets a warning from bank

Today.... i got a letter for myself. It was wrapped in a white envelope. I almost jumped for joy.

Alson have NOT received a letter that was not a piece of note asking him to either

1) Pay money

or

2) Get the fuck away from note writer's girlfriend

So, i opened it up with a letter opener. It was from my bank.

I got an official warning from my bank. I usually pay my debts as "Canadian Drug Money", they never objected, but then I forgot my mates cell phone number, we were both doing Internet banking at the same time.

So I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"

And we start having this whole conversation. It was like web chat. So like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like, "Have you thought of getting MSN?".

I replied this Steve fellow saying that we were making legit payments as i lost a cent to him in a poker game. He said okay and hung up. Now after 93 payments, the bank sent me an official warning. If you're a prick like Alson, you'd probably call up the bank asking for a reason of the warning right?

No? Whatever, I don't care.

I called them up, asked for the bank manager to explain himself (which i didn't gave him time to explain) and threatened to return my card as the Steve guy said it was OKAY to pay in 1 cents . The manager said that he was very sorry and proceed to void that warning and after about 10 minutes, they agreed to send me a $50 Robinson's voucher as apology.

No no no, don't get me wrong. I'm not the dumb one here. The dumb one is the manager.

My card is a debit card. (A freaking savings account.)

How the hell can i return the god damn card ?

Talk about irony.

Oh yeah, before i forget, i found this comic on the net, thought it was meaningful. Gonna own you all son of a bitches !!

Psychic Alson

Why do you people always come up to me like i'm some kind of a psychic and that i know your problems inside out?

For the five hundredth time, I'm NOT a psychic.
Look, if im a psychic, i wont be sitting here typing this dumb blog to entertain all you son of a bitches with my blog depicting dumb people over the internet. Both in RF Online AND in RL AND over irc/msn and shit.

What's with you people?

Cant you just use your brains and think? Oh im sorry, you dont have a brain. Then use something of the same level. Maybe your ass.

No. Im serious, dont be ashamed (read: you ought to be) that you use your ass to think. Many people over the internet do. Be proud of it ass-man!

One great example is what i got over MSN from an idoit. ( Name removed to protect privacy and to prevent the retard from crying louder.) Let's just call him retard.

Retard>>Dude
Retard>>You there
Retard>>Kin ( faster in hokkien)
Retard>>Helo

Son of a bitch dont know how to spell hello.

Retard>>Dude

All these typed within 1 minute. Impatient asshole.

Alson>>What
Retard>>Know anithing abt virus?
Retard>>Removing
Alson>>Depends
Retard>>Ok my cousin bro dl some shit stuff

Talk about irony, shit's calling virus shit.

Retard>>In my dad comp
Retard>>virus
Retard>>gg

SON OF A BITCH, DID HE JUST SAID GG ( good game )

Alson>>gg ( read: typed for entertainment purposes )
Retard>>How to rempve

Spellcheck buddy....

Retard>>U know?
Retard>>There's a toolbar on the internet homepage sumore

Toolbar's on the internet explorer, not the homepage....

Retard>>Muz remove that first
Alson>>Wow
Alson>>Okay
Alson>> Did your dad receive the telepathy anti virus i sent him with my brain waves ?
Retard>>^^

Son of a bitch can appear so happy in this kind of situation...

Retard>>Dude kin
Retard>>Father gona come home
Retard>>I fuking scared
Alson>>You think im a psychic?
Retard>>No as in wat u know
Retard>>aniting
Alson>>How the fuck am i supposed to know what shit is that freaking .. piece of technology is infected with?
Retard>>Ok brb

Hope he gets the name or at least something... just give me anything

Retard>>Dude back
Retard>>One ting
Retard>>The homepage
Retard>>Wun fuking turn to yahoo

SON OF A ..... Yahoo... fuck yahoo ... use google bitches!

Retard>>I set it alot of times
Alson>>Wow
Alson>>Then?
Retard>>-_-
Retard>>U so pro in comp
Retard>>U dont know meh
Alson>>Yeah
Retard>>Do i dl AVG?
Retard>>And remove?
Alson>>And i excel in psychic arts too.
Retard>>OMG
Retard>>I super scared now
Retard>>Aniting
Retard>>Just say one thing.
Retard>>Watt o do

I can tell your scared when you watt o do ...

Alson>>One thing
Retard>>Yeah what?
Alson>>You asked me to say one thing.
Retard>>zzz
Retard>>k i gtg
Alson>> Bye ...

If he's murdered by his dad for "obtaining" a virus, he deserves a darwin award. First place.

Oh before i end this post...

Helvetica, the typeface everyone loves to hate—and hates to love—now has its very own coffee cup. Austere but oh so cute and clever.

You can get it for $18 bucks at Veer. Also, don’t forget to check out the Helvetica film.

Too bad, I don’t drink coffee at home. :-(

I only drink from starbucks.

Oh by the way, dont try McCafe's Latte Frappe. It taste like aftershave.